Another unhappy MLS coach was New York's Juan Carlos Osorio, who was incredulous that his team could concede five goals at home, including four in the first half alone. Not that he's going to go on about it.

"I have been beaten before," Osorio admitted. "But never in my life allowed four goals in the first half. It was atrocious defending. It looks like a shootout game for both teams. For a fan, probably good. For a coach, total chaos. Really, really poor defending, nine goals in one game, but we got the worst of it, no points, so I'm very disappointed."

I think we've got the picture. On-loan Venezuelan defender Gabriel Cichero certainly did after he was subbed out at halftime. But wait, Osorio's not finished yet: "To concede five goals in 90 minutes to me is really bad. Never mind four goals in the first half. Last game we couldn't score any goals. Today we score four and it wasn't enough." Okay, okay, enough already!

"If you score four goals and you cannot get at least a point, that means that your defending is really, really poor..." [Exeunt journalists from locker room screaming, with fingers in ears.]

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