Well worth reading in full, Kaveh Solhekol's entertaining guide to the worst aspects of the modern game includes a rant about modern squad numbers: "Remember the days when the best player was No 10 and goalkeepers were No 1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale's No 33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan's No 80 and William Gallas is Arsenal's No 10. Why?"
 
Regarding technical areas, he asks, "What's so technical about a bit of grass and some white lines, anyway? Memo to all modern managers: Sit down and shut up." And here are a couple for MLS -- on the subject of undisclosed transfer fees, Solhekol states, "If you're going to spend some of my hard-earned season ticket money on a player I've never heard of, I want to know how much he cost." And official club web sites are curtly but accurately dismissed as "good for getting directions to the ground, but not much else.
 
And why do so many player have tattoos nowadays? "When we were kids only sailors and binmen had tattoos. Now, you can't walk into a dressing-room without being blinded by Celtic crosses, barbed wire, angels, Chinese proverbs, the name of everyone's kids, the name of everyone's kids in Hebrew, the name of everyone's wife, the name of everyone's wife in Latin, a couple of Welsh dragons and Steve Sidwell's marriage vows."

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