Join Now  | 
Home About Contact Us Privacy & Security Advertise
Soccer America Daily Soccer World Daily Special Edition Around The Net Soccer Business Insider College Soccer Reporter Youth Soccer Reporter Soccer on TV Soccer America Classifieds Game Report
Paul Gardner: SoccerTalk Soccer America Confidential Youth Soccer Insider World Cup Watch
RSS Feeds Archives Manage Subscriptions Subscribe
Order Current Issue Subscribe Manage My Subscription Renew My Subscription Gift Subscription
My Account Join Now
Tournament Calendar Camps & Academies Soccer Glossary Classifieds
Adults and their funny instructions
by Mike Woitalla, December 10th, 2009 1PM
Subscribe to Youth Soccer Insider

MOST READ
TAGS:  youth boys

MOST COMMENTED

By Mike Woitalla

In last week's Youth Soccer Insider ("Lost in Translation"), Susan Boyd shared some priceless examples of adult sideline instructions that were misinterpreted - to say the least -- by the young children they were aimed at and yielded some humorous responses. The piece prompted our readers to share some of their own, and jogged my memory of some of the most entertaining "advice" I've heard from adults at youth soccer fields.

Daniel and Nancy Cohen said their son was playing ball with his grandfather, who told him "keep your eye on the ball." The boy walked over to his grandfather and put his eye right next to the ball.

"I explained to my team," Jim Froslid recounted, "that when the ball goes over the touchline, I want us to take our throw-ins as soon as possible in order to 'catch the other team sleeping.' After the game I asked if everyone had fun and the girl in the back raised her hand and said, 'Coach I did not see any players on the other team with their eyes closed when we took our throw-ins.'"

Monica McMillan reported that at her 7-year-old daughter's first soccer practice, the coach shouted "dribble, dribble." Because she had only ever seen her cousins playing basketball, she picked up the ball and started bouncing it with her hands.

I once heard a coach yell at 6-year-olds, "Give him a target on the flank!" What are the odds, I thought, that the youngsters had any idea what that meant? Never mind they could barely kick the ball 10 yards.

Eavesdropping on a coach addressing his 9-year-old troops at halftime, I heard him commanding that, "We need to neutralize No. 10!" The No. 10 managed to stay happily un-neutralized in the second half

One of my all-time favorites: A U-10 coach screamed, "Over here! Over here!" at the top of his lungs while a little goalkeeper had the ball in his hands. The coach apparently wanted the keeper to send the ball to the right wing. And so the keeper punted the ball - more precisely than I imagined he had the skill for - and it rolled out of bounds, right to the coach's feet. Well done!

(Mike Woitallais the executive editor of Soccer America. His youth articles are archived atYouthSoccerFun.com.)


Do you have an idea for a Youth Insider Soccer column? We'd love to hear it. E-mail us at: mike@socceramerica.com.


No comments yet.

Sign in to leave a comment. Don't have an account? Join Now




AUTHORS

ARCHIVES
FOLLOW SOCCERAMERICA

Recent Youth Soccer Insider
Refs: Use your head and wear a cap    
I schedule a full check-up with my dermatologist every six months. When I was there last, ...
Taking the ice bath plunge for muscle soreness -- helpful or not?    
I've noticed for a long time now that adult endurance athletes will often jump into an ...
Development Academy award winners in good company    
In the wake of the 2015-16 U.S. Soccer Development Academy season, which concluded last weekend with ...
Most of 2015 U-17 alums already with pro clubs    
The USA may have disappointed at the 2015 U-17 World Cup last October when Coach Richie ...
Think food first: Refueling after training or games    
Here's another of those subjects that seems to make some people emotional -- why is it ...
FC Dallas makes Development Academy history, but focus remains on long-term    
FC Dallas won 2016 U.S. Soccer Development Academy titles at the U-15/16 and U-17/18 divisions, becoming ...
FC Dallas reaches both Development Academy finals    
FC Dallas, which leads MLS clubs in Homegrown signings, continues to impress at the youth level. ...
Top ECNL honor goes to Southern California's Slammers FC    
Slammers FC was named ECNL "Overall Club Champion" for the 2015-16 season. The Newport Beach, California-based ...
So far, 53 clubs join Girls Development Academy    
U.S. Soccer, which on June 30 announced the first 25 clubs that will play in the ...
Do's And Don'ts of Supplements for Young Athletes    
Last week I wrote about painkillers and how to use them occasionally, as well as some ...
>> Youth Soccer Insider Archives