Join Now | 
HomeAboutContact UsPrivacy & SecurityAdvertise
Soccer America DailySoccer World DailySpecial EditionAround The NetSoccer Business InsiderCollege Soccer ReporterYouth Soccer ReporterSoccer on TVSoccer America ClassifiedsGame Report
Paul Gardner: SoccerTalkSoccer America ConfidentialYouth Soccer InsiderWorld Cup Watch
RSS FeedsArchivesManage SubscriptionsSubscribe
Order Current IssueSubscribeManage My SubscriptionRenew My SubscriptionGift Subscription
My AccountJoin Now
Tournament CalendarCamps & AcademiesSoccer GlossaryClassifieds
Adults and their funny instructions
by Mike Woitalla, December 10th, 2009 1PM

MOST READ
TAGS:  youth boys

MOST COMMENTED

By Mike Woitalla

In last week's Youth Soccer Insider ("Lost in Translation"), Susan Boyd shared some priceless examples of adult sideline instructions that were misinterpreted - to say the least -- by the young children they were aimed at and yielded some humorous responses. The piece prompted our readers to share some of their own, and jogged my memory of some of the most entertaining "advice" I've heard from adults at youth soccer fields.

Daniel and Nancy Cohen said their son was playing ball with his grandfather, who told him "keep your eye on the ball." The boy walked over to his grandfather and put his eye right next to the ball.

"I explained to my team," Jim Froslid recounted, "that when the ball goes over the touchline, I want us to take our throw-ins as soon as possible in order to 'catch the other team sleeping.' After the game I asked if everyone had fun and the girl in the back raised her hand and said, 'Coach I did not see any players on the other team with their eyes closed when we took our throw-ins.'"

Monica McMillan reported that at her 7-year-old daughter's first soccer practice, the coach shouted "dribble, dribble." Because she had only ever seen her cousins playing basketball, she picked up the ball and started bouncing it with her hands.

I once heard a coach yell at 6-year-olds, "Give him a target on the flank!" What are the odds, I thought, that the youngsters had any idea what that meant? Never mind they could barely kick the ball 10 yards.

Eavesdropping on a coach addressing his 9-year-old troops at halftime, I heard him commanding that, "We need to neutralize No. 10!" The No. 10 managed to stay happily un-neutralized in the second half

One of my all-time favorites: A U-10 coach screamed, "Over here! Over here!" at the top of his lungs while a little goalkeeper had the ball in his hands. The coach apparently wanted the keeper to send the ball to the right wing. And so the keeper punted the ball - more precisely than I imagined he had the skill for - and it rolled out of bounds, right to the coach's feet. Well done!

(Mike Woitalla is the executive editor of Soccer America. His youth articles are archived at YouthSoccerFun.com.)


Do you have an idea for a Youth Insider Soccer column? We'd love to hear it. E-mail us at: mike@socceramerica.com.


No comments yet.

Sign in to leave a comment. Don't have an account? Join Now




AUTHORS

ARCHIVES
FOLLOW SOCCERAMERICA

Recent Youth Soccer Insider
Teen star Mallory Pugh has her own unique style    
At age 16, Mallory Pugh started all four U.S. games at the 2014 U-20 Women's World ...
The 'Relative Age Effect' -- a Response from U.S. Soccer     
In his 2008 book "Outliers," Malcolm Gladwell popularized the concept of the relative age effect (RAE). ...
Richie Williams on teens turning pro, Bradenton, plus lessons from U-17 qualifying    
The USA earned a spot at the 2015 World Cup with a penalty-kick shootout at win ...
Wenger chimes in on Zelalem; Ramos names Hyndman U-20 captain    
Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger has hinted that 18-year-old Gedion Zelalem, who was recently named to the ...
How to Develop Refs     
When teaching a person how to play golf, if you put the ball on the tee ...
USA gets its Arsenal kid     
As U.S. coach Tab Ramos had hoped, FIFA cleared Arsenal's German-born Gedion Zelalem to play for ...
Effective Goalkeeper Communication -- Coaches Must Teach It     
How goalkeepers communicate with their teammates is a big part of their development.
When Christen Press went from daisy-picking to goal-scoring     
When you see World Cup-bound Christen Press play -- like her golazo against France -- you'd ...
Tab Ramos wants more U-20 firepower     
The top American scorer in U-20 World Cup history? That would be Jozy Altidore, with five ...
John Hackworth: 'Learning how to win is part of development'    
Coach John Hackworth, who rejoined the U.S. national team program after four years with MLS's Philadelphia ...
>> Youth Soccer Insider Archives