Join Now | 
HomeAboutContact UsPrivacy & SecurityAdvertise
Soccer America DailySpecial EditionAround The NetSoccer Business InsiderCollege Soccer ReporterYouth Soccer ReporterSoccer on TVSoccer America Classifieds
Paul Gardner: SoccerTalkSoccer America ConfidentialYouth Soccer InsiderWorld Cup Watch
RSS FeedsArchivesManage SubscriptionsSubscribe
Order Current IssueSubscribeManage My SubscriptionRenew My SubscriptionGift Subscription
My AccountJoin Now
Tournament CalendarCamps & AcademiesSoccer GlossaryClassifieds
Adults and their funny instructions
by Mike Woitalla, December 10th, 2009 1PM

MOST READ
TAGS:  youth boys

MOST COMMENTED

By Mike Woitalla

In last week's Youth Soccer Insider ("Lost in Translation"), Susan Boyd shared some priceless examples of adult sideline instructions that were misinterpreted - to say the least -- by the young children they were aimed at and yielded some humorous responses. The piece prompted our readers to share some of their own, and jogged my memory of some of the most entertaining "advice" I've heard from adults at youth soccer fields.

Daniel and Nancy Cohen said their son was playing ball with his grandfather, who told him "keep your eye on the ball." The boy walked over to his grandfather and put his eye right next to the ball.

"I explained to my team," Jim Froslid recounted, "that when the ball goes over the touchline, I want us to take our throw-ins as soon as possible in order to 'catch the other team sleeping.' After the game I asked if everyone had fun and the girl in the back raised her hand and said, 'Coach I did not see any players on the other team with their eyes closed when we took our throw-ins.'"

Monica McMillan reported that at her 7-year-old daughter's first soccer practice, the coach shouted "dribble, dribble." Because she had only ever seen her cousins playing basketball, she picked up the ball and started bouncing it with her hands.

I once heard a coach yell at 6-year-olds, "Give him a target on the flank!" What are the odds, I thought, that the youngsters had any idea what that meant? Never mind they could barely kick the ball 10 yards.

Eavesdropping on a coach addressing his 9-year-old troops at halftime, I heard him commanding that, "We need to neutralize No. 10!" The No. 10 managed to stay happily un-neutralized in the second half

One of my all-time favorites: A U-10 coach screamed, "Over here! Over here!" at the top of his lungs while a little goalkeeper had the ball in his hands. The coach apparently wanted the keeper to send the ball to the right wing. And so the keeper punted the ball - more precisely than I imagined he had the skill for - and it rolled out of bounds, right to the coach's feet. Well done!

(Mike Woitalla is the executive editor of Soccer America. His youth articles are archived at YouthSoccerFun.com.)


Do you have an idea for a Youth Insider Soccer column? We'd love to hear it. E-mail us at: mike@socceramerica.com.


No comments yet.

Sign in to leave a comment. Don't have an account? Join Now




AUTHORS

ARCHIVES
FOLLOW SOCCERAMERICA

Recent Youth Soccer Insider
Reffing the Problem Player     
You and I, and truly all of humanity, have a wonderful potential to make a difference ...
High School vs. Club: Can this storm be sent out to sea?    
This soccer storm, with some collaboration and communication, can be blown out to sea or it ...
Six Reasons Parents Should Not Watch Practice     
The idea for this article struck me as I sat in my car after dropping off ...
Building club affinity: One surefire method to bond members    
Tony DiCicco: 'We should be excellent in every position'    
Tony DiCicco coached the USA to crowns at the 1996 Olympics, 1999 Women's World Cup and ...
Ref Watch: Player Pass Check Provides Chance to Make a Good First Impression    
You never get a second chance to make a first impression. For referees of youth soccer ...
Tab Ramos Q&A: Qualifying brings invaluable experience    
The USA qualified for the U-20 World Cup for the second straight time during the tenure ...
Tackling Key Challenges in Modern Day Youth Ball    
I was part of a panel at the US Youth Soccer Workshop at the NSCAA Convention: ...
Refereeing Restarts Near the Goal     
When I watch a soccer game on TV, I "referee" it. Sometimes instant replay confirms that ...
Paul Breitner: USA needs a club culture    
Paul Breitner, famous for scoring in two World Cup finals, including in West Germany's 2-1 victory ...
>> Youth Soccer Insider Archives