Join Now  | 
Home About Contact Us Privacy & Security Advertise
Soccer America Daily Soccer World Daily Special Edition Around The Net Soccer Business Insider College Soccer Reporter Youth Soccer Reporter Soccer on TV Soccer America Classifieds Game Report
Paul Gardner: SoccerTalk Soccer America Confidential Youth Soccer Insider World Cup Watch
RSS Feeds Archives Manage Subscriptions Subscribe
Order Current Issue Subscribe Manage My Subscription Renew My Subscription Gift Subscription
My Account Join Now
Tournament Calendar Camps & Academies Soccer Glossary Classifieds
Adults and their funny instructions
by Mike Woitalla, December 10th, 2009 1PM
Subscribe to Youth Soccer Insider

MOST READ
TAGS:  youth boys

MOST COMMENTED

By Mike Woitalla

In last week's Youth Soccer Insider ("Lost in Translation"), Susan Boyd shared some priceless examples of adult sideline instructions that were misinterpreted - to say the least -- by the young children they were aimed at and yielded some humorous responses. The piece prompted our readers to share some of their own, and jogged my memory of some of the most entertaining "advice" I've heard from adults at youth soccer fields.

Daniel and Nancy Cohen said their son was playing ball with his grandfather, who told him "keep your eye on the ball." The boy walked over to his grandfather and put his eye right next to the ball.

"I explained to my team," Jim Froslid recounted, "that when the ball goes over the touchline, I want us to take our throw-ins as soon as possible in order to 'catch the other team sleeping.' After the game I asked if everyone had fun and the girl in the back raised her hand and said, 'Coach I did not see any players on the other team with their eyes closed when we took our throw-ins.'"

Monica McMillan reported that at her 7-year-old daughter's first soccer practice, the coach shouted "dribble, dribble." Because she had only ever seen her cousins playing basketball, she picked up the ball and started bouncing it with her hands.

I once heard a coach yell at 6-year-olds, "Give him a target on the flank!" What are the odds, I thought, that the youngsters had any idea what that meant? Never mind they could barely kick the ball 10 yards.

Eavesdropping on a coach addressing his 9-year-old troops at halftime, I heard him commanding that, "We need to neutralize No. 10!" The No. 10 managed to stay happily un-neutralized in the second half

One of my all-time favorites: A U-10 coach screamed, "Over here! Over here!" at the top of his lungs while a little goalkeeper had the ball in his hands. The coach apparently wanted the keeper to send the ball to the right wing. And so the keeper punted the ball - more precisely than I imagined he had the skill for - and it rolled out of bounds, right to the coach's feet. Well done!

(Mike Woitallais the executive editor of Soccer America. His youth articles are archived atYouthSoccerFun.com.)


Do you have an idea for a Youth Insider Soccer column? We'd love to hear it. E-mail us at: mike@socceramerica.com.


No comments yet.

Sign in to leave a comment. Don't have an account? Join Now




AUTHORS

ARCHIVES
FOLLOW SOCCERAMERICA

Recent Youth Soccer Insider
Developing smarter players: What we should and shouldn't coach at the younger ages -- and why    
The greatest area for improvement in American youth soccer is in the sophistication of thought and ...
How to coach heading -- NSCAA delivers excellent online course    
Soccer's birth date is widely considered to be Dec. 8, 1863, when the English FA published ...
Rating refs improves officiating    
Just as there are not enough referees to adequately cover every game, there are not enough ...
U.S. U-20 women scoreless in World Cup prep tourney    
Another sign that other nations are catching up with the USA in women's soccer came at ...
In case of emergency -- be ready    
An Emergency Action Plan (EAP) is a written set of systems and processes that are followed ...
Italian-American: Playing youth soccer in Italy    
Until last year, my son was playing for a U.S. Soccer-sanctioned Pre-Development Academy soccer team in ...
Brad Friedel: Youngsters deserve more MLS playing time    
The USA, coached by Tab Ramos, reached the quarterfinals of the 2015 U-20 World Cup, falling ...
Study: Emergency room visits for soccer injuries soar    
Youth soccer-related injuries treated in emergency departments more than doubled from 106 per 10,000 players in ...
High school coaches: Rise Up!    
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
MLS wins one in tug-of-war for U.S. teen stars    
FC Dallas won the U-17/18 U.S. Soccer Development Academy national championship in July despite missing one ...
>> Youth Soccer Insider Archives