Join Now  | 
Home About Contact Us Privacy & Security Advertise
Soccer America Daily Soccer World Daily Special Edition Around The Net Soccer Business Insider College Soccer Reporter Youth Soccer Reporter Soccer on TV Soccer America Classifieds Game Report
Paul Gardner: SoccerTalk Soccer America Confidential Youth Soccer Insider World Cup Watch
RSS Feeds Archives Manage Subscriptions Subscribe
Order Current Issue Subscribe Manage My Subscription Renew My Subscription Gift Subscription
My Account Join Now
Tournament Calendar Camps & Academies Soccer Glossary Classifieds
Adults and their funny instructions
by Mike Woitalla, December 10th, 2009 1PM
Subscribe to Youth Soccer Insider

MOST READ
TAGS:  youth boys

MOST COMMENTED

By Mike Woitalla

In last week's Youth Soccer Insider ("Lost in Translation"), Susan Boyd shared some priceless examples of adult sideline instructions that were misinterpreted - to say the least -- by the young children they were aimed at and yielded some humorous responses. The piece prompted our readers to share some of their own, and jogged my memory of some of the most entertaining "advice" I've heard from adults at youth soccer fields.

Daniel and Nancy Cohen said their son was playing ball with his grandfather, who told him "keep your eye on the ball." The boy walked over to his grandfather and put his eye right next to the ball.

"I explained to my team," Jim Froslid recounted, "that when the ball goes over the touchline, I want us to take our throw-ins as soon as possible in order to 'catch the other team sleeping.' After the game I asked if everyone had fun and the girl in the back raised her hand and said, 'Coach I did not see any players on the other team with their eyes closed when we took our throw-ins.'"

Monica McMillan reported that at her 7-year-old daughter's first soccer practice, the coach shouted "dribble, dribble." Because she had only ever seen her cousins playing basketball, she picked up the ball and started bouncing it with her hands.

I once heard a coach yell at 6-year-olds, "Give him a target on the flank!" What are the odds, I thought, that the youngsters had any idea what that meant? Never mind they could barely kick the ball 10 yards.

Eavesdropping on a coach addressing his 9-year-old troops at halftime, I heard him commanding that, "We need to neutralize No. 10!" The No. 10 managed to stay happily un-neutralized in the second half

One of my all-time favorites: A U-10 coach screamed, "Over here! Over here!" at the top of his lungs while a little goalkeeper had the ball in his hands. The coach apparently wanted the keeper to send the ball to the right wing. And so the keeper punted the ball - more precisely than I imagined he had the skill for - and it rolled out of bounds, right to the coach's feet. Well done!

(Mike Woitalla is the executive editor of Soccer America. His youth articles are archived at YouthSoccerFun.com.)


Do you have an idea for a Youth Insider Soccer column? We'd love to hear it. E-mail us at: mike@socceramerica.com.


No comments yet.

Sign in to leave a comment. Don't have an account? Join Now




AUTHORS

ARCHIVES
FOLLOW SOCCERAMERICA

Recent Youth Soccer Insider
Tab Ramos' team on roll heading into Mexico U-20 clash; Women's youth head coaches out    
Tab Ramos' quest to become the first coach to qualify the USA for three straight U-20 ...
Five 'brothers' from RSL-AZ boost U.S. U-20 World Cup qualifying campaign    
Asked to explain his club's remarkable achievement, delivering five players to the U.S. U-20 national team, ...
Tab Ramos: 'The boys are starting to figure it out'    
"We know the important part of the tournament is how you end and not how you ...
USA already behind the eight-ball in U-20 World Cup qualifying    
The USA's quest to qualify for the 2017 U-20 World Cup is in danger just one ...
Tab Ramos on keeper Jonathan Klinsmann, captain Erik Palmer-Brown and the U-20 World Cup qualifying quest    
Tab Ramos, who played for the USA in the 1983 U-20 World Cup, now aims to ...
Girls DA Director Miriam Hickey: Federation is best suited to support clubs and coaches    
Miriam Hickey has been named Director of the U.S. Soccer Girls Development Academy, that which off ...
Anson Dorrance on Girls DA vs. ECNL -- and why the focus should be on the youngest ages    
We asked Anson Dorrance for his views on the strife between U.S. Soccer and the ECNL, ...
James Bunce: 'Players all develop at different times'    
When James Bunce headed Southampton FC's youth program, its ranks included Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, now an Arsenal ...
Meet Tab Ramos' 20 players for U-20 World Cup qualifying    
The USA's quest to qualify for a third straight U-20 World Cup begins Feb. 18 against ...
Ankle Sprain: When can I play again?     
There's never a good time to be injured. As we come up to the end of ...
>> Youth Soccer Insider Archives