[VIDEO PICK: Off the Post] The fastest double booking in Real Madrid history, 30 seconds of video forever alters the benchmark for lazy refereeing, and Brazilian superstar Neymar gets a ridiculous red card.

Our twitter friendly analysis of these arbitrator-laden films boasts: rapidly unlucky, deserving of scorn, and utterly baffling.

Sergio Ramos header made it 2-0 in the 12th minute of Sunday’s win in Madrid over Rayo Vallecano, and five minutes later he was shown two yellow cards in 44 seconds.

Hands in pockets, feet shuffling, clock watching, this teen has been ridiculed worldwide as his scene stealing apathy siphoned buzz from the Moroccan youth soccer genre.

Finally, Neymar’s fame, fortune, and style of play have seen him typecast in action scenes like the one at Ponte Preta on Sunday, and improved his composure. How this warrants a straight red is well beyond me, for it’s our readers who are the real connoisseurs of cinema referee.

Artur, who smacks and grabs Neymar’s face, twice, was also sent packing. The entire altercation is in slo-mo at 1:30…