"A Manchester United lamp would make a nice Christmas present. They look great in the middle of the table."
"It is so hard to win at Old Trafford. Even Manchester United can't."
"David Moyes spent 11 years trying to get Everton above Man United and now he's finally achieved it."
-- Jokes making the rounds in England after Manchester United's back-to-back home
losses dropped it to ninth place in the EPL. (Yahoo! Sport Early Doors)