Join Now | 
HomeAboutContact UsPrivacy & SecurityAdvertise
Soccer America DailySoccer World DailySpecial EditionAround The NetSoccer Business InsiderCollege Soccer ReporterYouth Soccer ReporterSoccer on TVSoccer America ClassifiedsGame Report
Paul Gardner: SoccerTalkSoccer America ConfidentialYouth Soccer InsiderWorld Cup Watch
RSS FeedsArchivesManage SubscriptionsSubscribe
Order Current IssueSubscribeManage My SubscriptionRenew My SubscriptionGift Subscription
My AccountJoin Now
Tournament CalendarCamps & AcademiesSoccer GlossaryClassifieds
Unhappy with your coach? How to respond
by Pete Huryk, April 15th, 2014 2:48PM

MOST READ
TAGS:  youth boys, youth girls

MOST COMMENTED

By Pete Huryk

Invariably as I talk to players, there are usually complaints surrounding coaches. I'm sure that the players believe the gripes are legitimate. This is a perfect opportunity to use your focus and circumvent things you can't control.

First of all, think of the things that you really want in a coach. Think of the attributes in your ideal coach, not the outcomes.

Do you want a coach who gives you playing time regardless of your skill or attitude? Do you want a coach who gives out equal playing time? Do you want a coach who blasts you for mistakes or talks to you calmly about issues?

Once you've identified the characteristics that you want. Figure out where there are differences between the ideal and the real. Then figure out what you can do to influence a change.

If your coach is a yeller and it has a negative effect on your play, find a calm and quiet moment to talk to him about the situation. Pointing fingers and complaining about the situation creates separation and doesn’t fix anything. Even after trying this attempt, it may not change his demeanor. You can only control yourself. So when you get yelled at, change your perspective, hear the words but not the intensity. Or possibly only listen during his calm moments.

In the end, you are trying to become a member of a team and the coach is simply the director of that group. Focus on your contributions to the team without thought of reward.

Selflessness will get you farther than selfishness.

(Pete Huryk is the author of "Fill Your Boots: A Personal Guide for the High School Player," from which this was excerpted. Huryk has coached at the college, high school and youth levels. Presently he serves as the Director of Development for SoccerSmith of New Jersey. He blogs at www.hurykunlimited.wordpress.com)


2 comments
  1. feliks fuksman
    commented on: April 15, 2014 at 10:12 p.m.
    Very good suggestions.

  1. R2 Dad
    commented on: April 15, 2014 at 11:46 p.m.
    If you have issues with a specific coach, you can always change teams if you don't like that one coach. But if you've "bought in" to a club, you're likely to experience a different coach every 1-2 years. This wouldn't be a problem, except that clubs don't hew to a philosophy of play or commitment to "development", so you might see-saw from PossessionCoach to KickAndRunCoach. If you want your kid to learn Possession, there isn't one club in our large market (Cal-N) that promises (and delivers). It's all about Making Your Child a Complete Person, blah blah blah. And the ratio is about 20 KickAndRunCoaches for every PossessionCoach.


Sign in to leave a comment. Don't have an account? Join Now




AUTHORS

ARCHIVES
FOLLOW SOCCERAMERICA

Recent Youth Soccer Insider
The 'Relative Age Effect' -- a Response from U.S. Soccer     
In his 2008 book "Outliers," Malcolm Gladwell popularized the concept of the relative age effect (RAE). ...
Richie Williams on teens turning pro, Bradenton, plus lessons from U-17 qualifying    
The USA earned a spot at the 2015 World Cup with a penalty-kick shootout at win ...
Wenger chimes in on Zelalem; Ramos names Hyndman U-20 captain    
Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger has hinted that 18-year-old Gedion Zelalem, who was recently named to the ...
How to Develop Refs     
When teaching a person how to play golf, if you put the ball on the tee ...
USA gets its Arsenal kid     
As U.S. coach Tab Ramos had hoped, FIFA cleared Arsenal's German-born Gedion Zelalem to play for ...
Effective Goalkeeper Communication -- Coaches Must Teach It     
How goalkeepers communicate with their teammates is a big part of their development.
When Christen Press went from daisy-picking to goal-scoring     
When you see World Cup-bound Christen Press play -- like her golazo against France -- you'd ...
Tab Ramos wants more U-20 firepower     
The top American scorer in U-20 World Cup history? That would be Jozy Altidore, with five ...
John Hackworth: 'Learning how to win is part of development'    
Coach John Hackworth, who rejoined the U.S. national team program after four years with MLS's Philadelphia ...
The College Process: Be Prepared, Proactive and Persistent    
No two children are alike and their dreams are as unique as their goals. As high ...
>> Youth Soccer Insider Archives