1. WHAT THEY'RE SAYING

"They were spotted by one of our security guards. No one could quite believe a bloke like him, with all that money, would be moronic enough to nick a toilet seat."
-- The employee of the store from which Glen Johnson, 22, who earns $60,000 weekly playing for English Premier League club Portsmouth, got caught allegedly trying to steal a toilet seat and other bathroom fittings. Johnson, a defender on loan from Chelsea, has appeared five times for England. Police fined Johnson $150. (UPI)
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