By Randy Vogt
I’ve never worked on Wall Street although I would love to ring the bell starting the workday at one of the stock exchanges in the future. Many people have a negativeview of Wall Street but there are a couple of important things that Soccer Americans, especially those who are referees, could learn:
Start your day happy. “Thank Godit’s Friday,” “Rainy days and Mondays always get me down” and “Hump day” are three expressions illustrating that we long for the weekends and to get away from work.Wrong attitude!
How about we take the attitude of Wall Street instead? The stock market exchanges cheer at the beginning of the workday. Wall Street realizes they need to work to makemoney.
Of course, not everybody has a job to be cheerful about. I’ve had jobs at two companies where the company was not doing well and the president became frustrated and took it out onhis employees. It was time for me to find a new job. But while I was looking for a new position, I still had to earn a living at those companies. So I thought of the good things about each job, suchas I earned money, had made friends at the company and was active during the day. Concentrating on the positive did not change the reality that they were not good environments but made working there alittle more palatable.
I’m not expecting referees to cheer after they blow the whistle to kick off the match. I am expecting them to take the attitude that it’s a privilege, not aright, to referee and to be cheerful. After all, you will meet new people, have the opportunity to make a positive difference in other people’s lives, get exercise and, hopefully, have fun, allwhile making a little money.
It might be a quarter-century later but I still remember being an official at a top women’s amateur game since the match referee had a very poor disposition.He arrived at the field in a really rotten mood and it was obvious that he did not want to be there. The losing team, down by a goal, thought they should have been awarded a PK toward the end of the90 minutes. If the ref had whistled and the PK was converted, the game would have gone into overtime.
It was very difficult for me to say if a PK should have been awarded as I was so far fromthe play. But it did cross my mind that since the ref did not want to be there, did he not whistle a chance to tie the game so he could leave?
On the other hand, what happens if the ref ispleasant (as most refs are) but the coach or players become frustrated and try and take it out on the ref? The ref does his or her best to control the match and could look on the bright side that thegame will soon be over.
Volatility ahead. One day, the Dow Jones Industrial Average goes up 300 points and the next day, it goes down 250 points. Although the market indexesrarely go up or down more than 3% on any day, individual stocks can be much more volatile.
Same deal with refereeing youth soccer. You could be the best ref in the entire world to the coachesof one game, and then the next game a few minutes later, a coach tells you that you’re absolutely clueless. It’s very easy to stay humble this way.
On a Saturday night, I attendedthe induction ceremony for the Long Island Soccer Players Hall of Fame. Four of the five inductees had played professionally. My officiating their games was mentioned in two of the speeches that nightand I received a nice round of applause.
The next day, I was refereeing futsal games in a boys U-15 division that had many issues with coaches being dismissed by other refs. They were not niceto me either! No matter what they said, I maintained a good attitude, which was very challenging. I dismissed three coaches in four games that day for personal attacks on others as well as cursing. Itwas very disappointing to hear their comments. I keep a record of every game so I know that in over 9,000 games, I’ve dismissed eight coaches until that day. And I had to think how former prosspoke of my ability very kindly years later but these coaches acted like idiots in front of their own children.
One of the biggest challenges in officiating youth soccer games today is manypeople who know little think they are experts. Maybe that’s the influence of the Internet. Years ago, people kept quiet if they did not know much about a subject. Now, they are experts. So whynot me as well? I plan on authoring books on opera, how to pilot an airplane and the mating patterns of penguins in the near future.
(Randy Vogt has officiated over 9,000 games during the past three decades, from professional matches in front of thousandsto 6-year-olds being cheered on by very enthusiastic parents. In PreventiveOfficiating, he shares his wisdom gleaned from thousands of games and hundreds of clinics to help referees not only survive but thrive on the soccer field. You can visit the book’s websiteat http://www.preventiveofficiating.com/)
I don’t know how you do it, Randy. I’ve only been at it for about 500 games and I’m pretty much done. Done with all the a-hole parents who didn’t get the call they wanted and abuse the ref. Done with all the ignorant/abusive coaches who think they are so important and make the game all about themselves instead of the kids. I don’t need to referee–I do it because I like the sport and the kids need officials to cover matches. These screamers have ruined the AMATEUR sport for me, and I’ve run out of sunny disposition. Nothing will change unless the leagues ban these screaming coaches and their infected parents/players, and I see no progress in that regard.
I’m not sure if it’s the Internet, but people (parents in the stands…and some coaches,too) seem to have become more vocal and verbally abrasive at soccer games. When my kids began playing in the early 80s, the parents on the sidelines were wonderfully supportive and we were genial with the parents from the other teams who were sitting beside us. They were letting the kids just play and enjoy the game. When my kids played T-ball, the parents in the stands were super competitive and even booed the young kids on the opposing teams! T-ball, for heaven’s sake!!! Our soccer league had all the coaches speak to the parents about proper behavior: no negative yelling at the kids, at the opposing coach or at the referee. If a parent began yelling abuse at a ref, he would be admonished by the coach…if it was really bad, he’d be asked to leave the vicinity of the field. But we’ve changed as a society in the last 30 years. A lot of people are encouraged to hate their opponents…it’s rampant in sports fans and in politics. I don’t know when we began treating opponents as enemies. We’ve become bullies! We try to bring our opponents down to our own level by denigrating and calling them names, making fun of them! Look at all of us posting on this site who can’t mention Klinsmann without calling him names. We make fun of players, coaches and referees as if we could do a much better job than they’re doing. I think it’s highly probable that most of these folks have never played competitive team sports, even coached an U-10 (or under or over) recreational soccer team for a season, and/or refereed a game after taking the classes for certification and learning the Rules of the Game.
My kids both refereed. My daughter quit after a large male parent accosted her after a game and, apparently, yelled at her for about 5 minutes until another parent chased him away. She’d always loved reffing…especially the little boys. She said,”Mom, they just fall down all over the field for no reason.” She had such fun. My teen age son was a linesman for the adult Hispanic League games because the referees, coaches and players all liked his work. However, after one game, an argument broke out between 2 men in the stands, and one of them pulled a gun. My son was advised to “take cover.” He never reffed a game again…
Randy and R2…thanks for all you do.