It was Valentine’s Day, which must be why FIFA was struck by the urge to show more cards. Not just cards with pink hearts and roses on the front (“Dear oppressed migrant workers, I am an oppressed migrant worker too! I love you! Gianni xoxo”), but blue cards to supplement the current roster of yellows and reds. Not to show love, but to express punishment for dissent and send the sinner to the naughty bench for 10 minutes to think about how they’ve let down the team, the referee and, most of all, themselves.

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