Early last year I unveiled the FIFA Language Analysis Machine (FLAM), a device that was able to decode FIFA President Gianni Infantino‘s 2022 New Year’s Speech. FIFA is already cooking up a storm of chronic Big Sensationalism (BS) way ahead of the 2026 World Cup, so I fired it up again this week during the launch of something called the “FIFA World Cup 26™ Official Brand.” Yes, it seems that soccer’s world governing body is claiming copyright on the number 26. Expect to see an extra charge on your bill every time you order the Shrimp Lo Mein.

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